Monday, February 24, 2014

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Moving on from a break-up is hard.  Whether you are the initiator or not, it is not a walk in the park.  Many people are quick to blame themselves or the other person.  This process of blaming is not unlike the second stage of grief.  Denial is commonly the initial response when a loved one is lost, followed by feelings of anger.  Blaming is a result of anger.  This is not to say that breaking up is the same as loosing a loved one by any means, but the process of moving on from a break-up follows the same lines.  The next stage is commonly known as "bargaining" and if you've ever said "well, if I had just not gone out that night...if I had just been honest...if they would have just recognized what I was going through...if they could have just said they loved me," then you know what I'm talking about.  Next is the depression stage, which in a break-up can manifest itself as feelings of sadness and general melancholy and/or hyper anxiety.  Sometimes separating things with your ex or telling your family and friends about the break-up can be a source of angst.  And then, there is acceptance.  You know you are at this stage when you wake up and feel complete again and like things will be okay.  This comparison is not meant to make things harder, but rather to encourage you to give yourself time and know that breaking up is a process.  You may move through these stages in a few days, but taking care of yourself and giving yourself time to grieve a little is very important.

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